I love my son

When I was fresh out of high school (A place I really didn't want to be) I attended Cabrillo college in Santa Cruz. I was doing it under direst seeing that I didn't want to go to college in our home town but my parents already had my brother in college and a JC fit their finances at the time. Looking back its ironic that I was upset with them because they masde a life choice for me...the irony is that I wasn't ready for any college and had not done well enough in high school to attend anything else but a JC. This is the struggle between kids and parents. Looking around it seems that the transition period in which a child grows up and a parent let's go is always bumpy. Kids want to be treated like adults but still want a safety net. Parents have a difficult time playing both...letting go while waiting for the call. In this progression from child to an adult it dawns on me that this could never be easy for anyone. The redefining of an established relationship. The previous rules and understandings are shattered and a relationship that has stood strong for 10 years has to be reconfigured, restructured, and revamped. Not any relationship, mind you, but the most intense of our lives. The central focus of a parent (other than God) is their child. In the old Testament Abraham takes Isaac his son to the top of the hill in order to sacrafice him as commanded by God. His only Son. I have struggled with this because Abraham is the only man in scripture whos righteousness was credited to him. I can honestly say that I would rather throw myself into the fires of hell then to have to make that choice between my sons and my faith. Perhaps that is the reason Abrahams faith was lauded by the old testament as righteous before an almighty God. It is a stark reminder of how far I have to go and how little of that journey I have accomplished. I was sitting on the couch with Tanner watching animal planet and he leaned over and put his head on me and we just laid watching TV till it was time to go to bed I love him more today than I did when he was born. His smile and laugh, his goofiness, even his stern looks when he gets frustrated. I sat their once again thankful that he is my son and for the young man that he is becoming. Despite my mistakes he is a wonderful kid and and a genuine person with compassion and joy. Last night I watched him sing and praise God during VBS (Vacation Bible School). I couldn't hold back the tears. As he sang "I'm trading my sorrows." He showed me again that Christ has found a home in his heart. Once again an answer to prayer and an undeserved blessing fom a gracious God. I understand that there will be a time when he will leave and I must let go. But I believe he will find his way.