Where do they get it from?

If you where to ask Aarron if I was a sharp guy he would probably laugh and say
" Yea a sharp pain in the butt" and if you ask my mom she will as proud moms do say "Oh my child is very smart" But I'm a realist. I consider myself bright with a quick wit, but their are people in this world that are much brighter and quicker than I am. That's why I like to read and exchange ideas. It stimulates me to think deeper and process new ideas and different points of view. So maybe someone could explain to me how my childeren got to be so smart. Yea I know your thinking it must be Wendy but she would disagree. Are kids are smarter than we are and it's a joy to watch. Yesterday while driving home we where having a discussion about leaves and yard maintinence. Grayson's solution was to rip out all existing fauna and eliminate the work all together. But Tanner disagreed and here was his reasoning. "If we kill all the plants then they will not be able to take the bad air we breathe out and turn it into good air." I know...its elementary school stuff right. Those kids on smarter than a fifth grader would roll their eyes like the uber champion of jeopardy does while he toys with the the other contestants. So I asked him "How does that work?" and I quote " The trees take the bad air and that's what they breath then through photosynthesis they combine the bad air and water and dirt and sunlight and in the end they poop but not really poop but whats left over is good air that we breath. I doubt a scholar could have made it any clearer save the poop comment. Tanner's view of this world is so much larger than mine was and Grayson...well don't get me started. My little sponges never cease to amaze me in what they know and what they are paying attention to. This is the ultimate as a parent. I thought it would be wonderful to watch my sons learn from me but it is so much more gratifyng to watch them learn and process the world form the seats. I have equipped them with the process not the answers. I didn't think this way when I was eight or five. Different times I guess...different world. I mentioned earlier that I have been wingin this parent thing since the very beginning. Everyone thinks they know how to deal with parental problems. You know what I have noticed...Parents usually do not give other parents advice. I think this is because as much as a parent may evaluate the way the other parent does their job, in the end, it's better to keep your mouth shut. You never know what your kid may do the next week. (this only applies to the rest of the world, parents are usually full of advice they wish to pass down to their childeren when they become parents.) Some freinds of ours have had problems with their childeren not sleeping at night. They are wonderful parents and even though wendy has given them the whole program on how to get infants to sleep through the night. It has not worked and I say SO WHAT. When the child is 25 they will be laughing about how they missed 2 years of sleep. In the end, there are things in this world that matter and things that don't. You know who seems to know alot about parenting and will tell you so, people without childeren. People without childeren are experts and vocal about it. They have just the behavioral modification tool that will stimulate the childs inner need to please and feel accepted and useful as well as independant and self assured. And with that, after they have changed the childs eternal course with Skinners rules of behavioral modification, it's off for a mohito and a movie. They will never appreciate what parenting is until they realize the miracle for themselves. I do not discount their advice, as I said, their are some very smart people out there.
But parenting is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days for the rest of your life. Wendy and I watched Juno last night. Hilarious movie but disturbing as well. My favorite part however is not the sarcastic wit of Juno or her freind but the character that Jennifer Garner plays and the last scene with her and the baby. Great moment! I won't wish for my kids to grow up quickly because I am enjoying them too much. My Uncle who is usually pretty steady was obviously moved to tears when his daughter graduated from high school recently. Some would coo at how a Father could be so proud as to be moved to tears. But I don't think it was his pride that made him tear up, it was the realization that she was grown up. The sleepless nights as an infant, the first steps, first words, pre-school, sports, an ever changing world where parental intervention is slowly eroded until this moment. Ready to take on the world. Not seperated but independant, Not self reliant but reliable. I could not be sure but a sigh of relief and a realization that they get it from you.

A Girl?

I know that Wendy must be thrilled that after all these years she finally will have an estrogen filled buddy in the house. Sierra is a mutual dream because we where both to chicken to make the committment for the third child. We wrestled with what God wanted, but in the end, I'm confident that God had this in our plan. Wendy is going to be a great Mom. Now don't misunderstand me, but I think little boys drive her crazy. Sierra will be different. In fact I think it would be fair to say that I am more nervous about being a Dad this time because it's a girl. I know how to raise men. I know what the world will toss at Tanner and Grayson and I know how to prepare them for that, but a girl? I was reading my cousin Elissa's blog and she made a comment about an ear infection that Lily had and the process that she went through. In the end she felt proud that she had made the right decisions, even if the victory was small. I wonder if my mom and dad ever felt that way...I know I do. When I was younger people used to say things like "Wait till you have kids." It used to irritate me...Iv'e babysat, I have younger siblings, I was a preschool teacher and a recreation director for 5 years, I know kids. But having childeren and dealing with childeren aren't bed buddies...they dont even live in the same town. That's what people meant when they couldn't verbalize the difference and I now know the feeling they where trying to convey. I knew Elissa and Kyle would be great parents and Lily is the destination of a very long trail of prayer...God is great. But reading her comments reminded me of my own questions as a parent. With Sierra, a new challenge, and I was only just beginning to feel comfortable about the boys. My brother asked me if I was nervous about the baby and at first I was a little offended. I have two great kids that aren't malnourished, have clothes on for the majority of the time, and can speak without pointing and grunting. I felt I was doing pretty good. But his question was not an indictment of bad parenting, it was a keen observation from somebody who doesn't even have kids (yet!). He knew that this one was different and had I not been such a dillweed I would have said this:
Honestly, I have been winging this whole parenting thing from go. I try to instill the values I hold sacred and I learned so much of what I do from how I was raised. Being a Father has been a mixed bag of input from my Dad mostly, But my Uncle Randy and my Uncle Michael had a huge impact on how I approach it. I never knew a love like the love I have for my kids and I didn't realize what it would be like to be so intensely committed to them. I have made numerous mistakes but despite my shortcomings, I have wonderful childeren. I'm not so concerned about the differences Sierra presents, but I wonder how the family dynamic will change. Tanner and Grayson will be incredible brothers. I honestly believe that if not for family, parenting would be more difficult. I am surrounded on both sides by strong dedicated parents, I am affirmed everytime I spend time with family that Wendy and I are on the right track...we are truly blessed. There isn't a manual for parenting and I find that the seeds for proper parenting have been planted a long time ago. I hope I am doing the same for my childeren. So the answer to the question, if I think about it is, "Yes, I am a little apprehensive about Sierra." But I am so excited about her that I havn't really stopped to think about it all. Up till now, God has been able to give me the tools I need to parent. In Sierras case she gets a semi-experienced, dedicated, excited father: two incredibly sensitive, fun, loyal, silly, loving, brothers:an amazing, nurturing, elated, semi-experienced Mom: Three Grandmas who come unglued at the thought of a little girl: 2 Aunties and one TiTi. A great Uncle and a Fabulous Unnle: A Grandpa, A Papa, and A Nanu: Not to mention her Great Aunts and Uncles and a stable full of cousins. What do I have to worry about?...On second thought...I'm petrified (just kidding)

Faith as a Punch line

As I have grown in my relationship with Christ, I have discovered with great sorrow the amount of people that claim to be Christians, but don't really have a grasp of what that means biblically. This sad state of faith today has left my heart very heavy and confused. I grew up with the idea that people who believed in Christ, believed in the cross and it's meaning. But faith has become a punch line. And even worse, a tag of ignorance and close minded thinking. To be a Christ following, bible believing christian today puts you in a class of judgemental hypocrites, sneering and jabbing at the world from behind the sandbagged walls of religion and the weapon of the scriptures. To hear the world tell it, you would think we believers were hate mongers spreading the word of division and eliteism. And the battle lines don't stop there. The deep chasm of division between Christ loving churches has become so deep that it's hard to tell the difference between criticism from the secular world and that from other churches. I wonder how Christ feels about all of this. Imagine the sorrow as he watches the very people that he suffered for eek out perceived victories in semantics and tradition, while their souls slip closer to eternal seperation from their maker. But let me disperse some myths about true christians and lets leave the religions to seek out their own common ground. The reason people think Christians are hypocrites is because they are right! Especially when you consider the amount of people that claim to be christians but have no practical application of christ in their life. But let's return to the christ followers for a moment. I continue to deal with sin in my life. I praise God that so much of my life has been transformed but the transformation isn't complete and I still deal with sin in my life. So from the outside looking in, unless I live my life without reproach (which is biblically impossible), I am a hypocrite. The second is perception of judgement. The bible says to judge not less ye be judged. The ultimate judge is Christ Jesus. He will be the one taking account for the life lived here. The world wonders why Christians are so adament about issues of morality and ethics. The misconception is that we want to force our values on everyone else. The reality is that we follow Christs moral compass, not our own. Can you imagine what the standard would be if our sinful, selfish hearts were in charge of setting the bar. I have observed the spread of this way of thinking throughout the world today. But the bar has been set by Christ in his perfection and we can only strive and aspire to become more Christlike. Ultimately we will fail, but our failure has become victory in the cross. My last point is this: If I have followed Christ and given more, loved more shared more, respected life, built relationships and lived in peace and happiness then what have I lost? I live my faith outloud not to give hommage to how great and blessed I am, but to give praise and honor to the authour of my salvation, Christ Jesus. And to share this gift as instructed by Christ himself. I received an e-mail from my Auntie Russie about a 17 year old boys version of heaven. The boy was killed in an accident soon after...it was the last thing he ever wrote. It was amazingly touching, and his view of Christ's sorrow was especially vivid. I want my "shared the gospel" file to be bigger than it is now so I leave with this. If anyone ever wants to talk about the lord, salvation, the cross, and Christs sacrifice, where faith is not a punchline. I will at anytime and in any place listen. If you are struggling with things, wondering about issues, chances are I have struggled too and am still struggling. Let's take this journey with Christ together. I don't have all the answers and God knows I am not an example to follow...But Gods Spirit has touched my life in incredible ways. I want to share it with those people I love most.

Fat Food Fast Life

One of the things I say in discussions is that we live in a fast food soceity. What I mean by that is in todays hustle bustle world, we are always looking to become stramlined, quicker, more efficient, and faster. We feel the need to turn and burn, fry and fly, hitch and go, get in where we fit in, get in get out, get up get down, and take no prisoners. In the business world this way of thinking has brought about amazing advances in technology and communication. But in our home lives, I believe it is an assault on intimacy, tight knit relationships, and true happiness. We are always trying to achieve bigger and better things while its the best things that suffer for it. Yesterday I spent the afternoon with Tanner at the school trying to teach him to pitch. He wants to pitch and although he has one hell of an arm, I think the guy at the plate is in the safest spot because he has no accuracy. As I spent this little time with him I realized that he had to drag me out there. I've got stuff to do...tiling in the bathroom, bills to pay, things to organize...I can't play! But while he made his old man run around the field after grounders laughing the whole time, It became clear... there is a scale of moments. The moments you grow up with. Some experiences are bad. Although you learn from them they still stay on the bad side. Some moments are good. Those get tucked away in your heart cherished on the good side of the scale. Hapiness is when the weight of the good moments outweighs the bad and the scale is tipped in the right direction. An understanding of this in light of God helps transform the bad moments and tips the scale even further. I have suggested in earlier blogs that we spend our time loving. By doing this we not only adhere to the lessons of scripture, but we also help to stack other peoples' scales favorably. Which brings us back to fast food soceity. If we spend our time clawing our way to the top, we may succeed and feel great personal satisfaction in our accomplishment, but ask yourself, who's scale suffered. Who where the losers on the way to our victory. I made a pact with myself that my childeren would never be unhapy because I upset the balance by adding to the wrong side. They will have so much to process and deal with as they get older. Slow down, cling to good moments, multiply them. And my kids will understand the best accomplishment. True, Christlike love for others. That's the only race I hope they run.

Mothers

When I was in High School I decided to cut out on a day of work at the carwash...at the carwash yea...and goof off with my freinds at this rock quary that had a pond at the base of it. I was supposed to be at work not only because I was scheduled to work that day, but because I had gotten in trouble at the beginning of that summer and one of my punishments was that I was required to go to work in the morning and return home immidiately when it was over. When I returned home from "work", mom asked me why I hadn't been to work that day. I lied and said I was at there. She replied "no you weren't...I came by." My canoe was beginning to sink but I wasn't ready to abandon ship. "I can't believe you would check on me" I replied with an indignant tone. Perhaps I could shift the conversation enough that she would forget the original question (yea right). What she said solidified a mothers supremacy for life, "I didn't". Her entire line of questioning was fishing expedition and with a smile she walked back into the house. I just ratted on myself without knowing I was ratting on myself (tupid, tupid, tupid). She never told my Dad.
Growing up I can't remember one event my mom was not a part of. Little League and soccer, church plays, weddings, funerals, birthdays, my first bike, my first college (there where several)... everything. With mom I could be vulnerable which was not a cool trait when becoming a man. With mom I could laugh and cry sometimes at the same time. I recognize so much of my mom in me it's almost scarry. I even find myself writing stuff down in lists, cleaning and cooking and setting the table three weeks before the event, and freezing bread (I'm seeking therapy). She has always been a phone call away and at 43 she still works her butt off from dawn till dusk when she comes to my house helping my wife and I. My kids are the apple of her eye, and after an endless string of failures and dissappointments, she is as proud of me today as when I was in grade school.
I don't know that all mothers are like mine. I still feel like a little kid on the playground when I say that "My mom is the bestest" I hugged her the other morning and kissed her on the cheek because I wanted her to know I loved her. Although the moment was nice, I felt like I couldn't just spill it all out. Recent events in our family got me thinking about what life might be like without Mom. Don't get me wrong Mom is a firecracker and will probably outlive me (out of spite). But I began to think about my grandma, and my Nana, and my grandme. And the childeren they left behind. So I decided to leave this in the blogoshere forever so that there would be no doubt.
Mom,
I could not love you any more than I do.If I said things in anger... I didn't mean them and if I hurt you I would do anything to take it back. As you turn 44 and beyond, know that I appreciate you. Not for what you have done, but because of who you are. I recognize that you are smarter than I am. And my stupidity will be my excuse everytime we don't see eye to eye. I love your laugh. I am blessed that my kids have such an amazing relationship with you and they come unglued everytime they get to see their Nani. You are an incredible friend and counseler. Honest to a fault but without the kind of judgement that stings. You know who I am (scarry huh) You have always been a defender of faith and encouraged a deep relationship with Christ. Lessons that are eternal, rather than temporal. I can't remember an event you missed and I could not fathom life without you, my mom. Of all the changes that have taken place thus far and all the changes on the horizon, This son's LOVE for his mother is unchanging and unshakeable. That kind of love is not hard for me...I learned it from you.


Happy Mothers Day Mom
I love you

Politics

I think it's fair to say that I have become disillusioned with politics in America. Anyone who knows me knows I am a staunch conservative. However, I would like to think that some of the ideas that are held by the majority of the people that I know are neither liberal or conservative. But no matter what side of the political Arena you happen to hold your campaign sign. I think you would have to admit that there are some questions that must be answered about our current candidates for President of the United States. For instance. The first and most important question one must raise is "Is this the best our country has to offer?" I find it almost mind numbing that the three boobs we have running for President are the best and brightest leaders of our time. And if they are, well you might as well just cut your own head off before the terrorists who wake up every morning planning on doing that very thing succeed with their help!!! I was listening to a speech given by Newt Gingerich when he was asked about the threat of terrorism and how to win the War on it. His answer, although candid was about as upbeat as a public execution. We are sleep walking. Because the majority of people where not affected by events like 911, the London Subway bombings, various attacks on embassies throughout the middle east and so on, they have no appreciation for how dedicated the extremists are to killing you, or my sons, or my mother, or my wife. Liberal pacifist idiots, listen carefully, there is no treaty, no diplomatic negotiation, no amount of self loathing, or guilt ridden rhetoric about it being Americas fault that will stop these people from trying to exterminate America and kill you. If you where walking down the streets of Iran or Saudi Arabia, or Syria, or Iraq with an American Flag on your shoulder without an Armed Hum V, you would be dead because they want to kill you. In this country (the greatest country in the world) not only can you walk down the street burning in ephigy that which I hold sacred with every fiber of my being. There is a whole group of AMERICANS that will applaud you for it. No bullets, no head chopping. My blood boils but I believe in ones right to free speech and expression. This attitude is now and never will be shared by our extremist adversaries. The naked truth is that this world has always been governed by the use of force. Either the use of it or the display of strength so that others didn't. I am disillusioned by the utter lack of interest in a country where it's citizens have no sense of civic responsibility and no respect for their role in this democracy where they are the government. I am troubled that we have opposing political viewpoints with such a vast divide in the spectrum that it appears a split in the country would be the best solution. I can't understand our inability to make committments and choices and then stick with them rather than side track and play the blame game in order to win elections. Tonight at dinner we where talking about the different candidates and Tanner said he was voting for Barack Obama. Although it would never be my choice my son has the right or will have the right to vote and I find it interesting that at eight years old he would even hold an opinion about who he would vote for. I asked him why he chose Sen. Obama. He said he didn't know he just liked him. This is when Grayson (my five year old and my new political advisor) looked at his brother with the most concerned look...he finished chewing his grilled cheese sandwich and with a glob of ketchup on the side of his face said "Tanner, I can't believe you would vote for a Democrap" (not a typo). When I was in younger this stuff didn't matter, When I got into college a became a political hermaphrodite, I would say things like personaly I am against it but politically I don't want to force my set of values on anyone else. But as I grew older and had childeren I began to realize this is not a game. Ask the families of the victims of 911 or the soldiers fighting and dying overseas. This is not the time to relive the glory days of the 60's and 70's. We are in trouble!!! Politically, ethically, moraly. As Newt Gingerich said we are sleep walking. One of my fears is that I raise my sons to be civic minded God fearing flag waving Americans and then 12 to 15 years from now we will be forced once again to deal with the issues we refuse to face now. And I will wach my sons leave to fight the same enemy we didn't have the courage and fortitude to defeat while we had the chance. Proud to whatch them stand up for freedom but unable to bear the thought of the ultimate price they may pay. What do you say we dump the politics and win.