Mothers

When I was in High School I decided to cut out on a day of work at the carwash...at the carwash yea...and goof off with my freinds at this rock quary that had a pond at the base of it. I was supposed to be at work not only because I was scheduled to work that day, but because I had gotten in trouble at the beginning of that summer and one of my punishments was that I was required to go to work in the morning and return home immidiately when it was over. When I returned home from "work", mom asked me why I hadn't been to work that day. I lied and said I was at there. She replied "no you weren't...I came by." My canoe was beginning to sink but I wasn't ready to abandon ship. "I can't believe you would check on me" I replied with an indignant tone. Perhaps I could shift the conversation enough that she would forget the original question (yea right). What she said solidified a mothers supremacy for life, "I didn't". Her entire line of questioning was fishing expedition and with a smile she walked back into the house. I just ratted on myself without knowing I was ratting on myself (tupid, tupid, tupid). She never told my Dad.
Growing up I can't remember one event my mom was not a part of. Little League and soccer, church plays, weddings, funerals, birthdays, my first bike, my first college (there where several)... everything. With mom I could be vulnerable which was not a cool trait when becoming a man. With mom I could laugh and cry sometimes at the same time. I recognize so much of my mom in me it's almost scarry. I even find myself writing stuff down in lists, cleaning and cooking and setting the table three weeks before the event, and freezing bread (I'm seeking therapy). She has always been a phone call away and at 43 she still works her butt off from dawn till dusk when she comes to my house helping my wife and I. My kids are the apple of her eye, and after an endless string of failures and dissappointments, she is as proud of me today as when I was in grade school.
I don't know that all mothers are like mine. I still feel like a little kid on the playground when I say that "My mom is the bestest" I hugged her the other morning and kissed her on the cheek because I wanted her to know I loved her. Although the moment was nice, I felt like I couldn't just spill it all out. Recent events in our family got me thinking about what life might be like without Mom. Don't get me wrong Mom is a firecracker and will probably outlive me (out of spite). But I began to think about my grandma, and my Nana, and my grandme. And the childeren they left behind. So I decided to leave this in the blogoshere forever so that there would be no doubt.
Mom,
I could not love you any more than I do.If I said things in anger... I didn't mean them and if I hurt you I would do anything to take it back. As you turn 44 and beyond, know that I appreciate you. Not for what you have done, but because of who you are. I recognize that you are smarter than I am. And my stupidity will be my excuse everytime we don't see eye to eye. I love your laugh. I am blessed that my kids have such an amazing relationship with you and they come unglued everytime they get to see their Nani. You are an incredible friend and counseler. Honest to a fault but without the kind of judgement that stings. You know who I am (scarry huh) You have always been a defender of faith and encouraged a deep relationship with Christ. Lessons that are eternal, rather than temporal. I can't remember an event you missed and I could not fathom life without you, my mom. Of all the changes that have taken place thus far and all the changes on the horizon, This son's LOVE for his mother is unchanging and unshakeable. That kind of love is not hard for me...I learned it from you.


Happy Mothers Day Mom
I love you