A Girl?

I know that Wendy must be thrilled that after all these years she finally will have an estrogen filled buddy in the house. Sierra is a mutual dream because we where both to chicken to make the committment for the third child. We wrestled with what God wanted, but in the end, I'm confident that God had this in our plan. Wendy is going to be a great Mom. Now don't misunderstand me, but I think little boys drive her crazy. Sierra will be different. In fact I think it would be fair to say that I am more nervous about being a Dad this time because it's a girl. I know how to raise men. I know what the world will toss at Tanner and Grayson and I know how to prepare them for that, but a girl? I was reading my cousin Elissa's blog and she made a comment about an ear infection that Lily had and the process that she went through. In the end she felt proud that she had made the right decisions, even if the victory was small. I wonder if my mom and dad ever felt that way...I know I do. When I was younger people used to say things like "Wait till you have kids." It used to irritate me...Iv'e babysat, I have younger siblings, I was a preschool teacher and a recreation director for 5 years, I know kids. But having childeren and dealing with childeren aren't bed buddies...they dont even live in the same town. That's what people meant when they couldn't verbalize the difference and I now know the feeling they where trying to convey. I knew Elissa and Kyle would be great parents and Lily is the destination of a very long trail of prayer...God is great. But reading her comments reminded me of my own questions as a parent. With Sierra, a new challenge, and I was only just beginning to feel comfortable about the boys. My brother asked me if I was nervous about the baby and at first I was a little offended. I have two great kids that aren't malnourished, have clothes on for the majority of the time, and can speak without pointing and grunting. I felt I was doing pretty good. But his question was not an indictment of bad parenting, it was a keen observation from somebody who doesn't even have kids (yet!). He knew that this one was different and had I not been such a dillweed I would have said this:
Honestly, I have been winging this whole parenting thing from go. I try to instill the values I hold sacred and I learned so much of what I do from how I was raised. Being a Father has been a mixed bag of input from my Dad mostly, But my Uncle Randy and my Uncle Michael had a huge impact on how I approach it. I never knew a love like the love I have for my kids and I didn't realize what it would be like to be so intensely committed to them. I have made numerous mistakes but despite my shortcomings, I have wonderful childeren. I'm not so concerned about the differences Sierra presents, but I wonder how the family dynamic will change. Tanner and Grayson will be incredible brothers. I honestly believe that if not for family, parenting would be more difficult. I am surrounded on both sides by strong dedicated parents, I am affirmed everytime I spend time with family that Wendy and I are on the right track...we are truly blessed. There isn't a manual for parenting and I find that the seeds for proper parenting have been planted a long time ago. I hope I am doing the same for my childeren. So the answer to the question, if I think about it is, "Yes, I am a little apprehensive about Sierra." But I am so excited about her that I havn't really stopped to think about it all. Up till now, God has been able to give me the tools I need to parent. In Sierras case she gets a semi-experienced, dedicated, excited father: two incredibly sensitive, fun, loyal, silly, loving, brothers:an amazing, nurturing, elated, semi-experienced Mom: Three Grandmas who come unglued at the thought of a little girl: 2 Aunties and one TiTi. A great Uncle and a Fabulous Unnle: A Grandpa, A Papa, and A Nanu: Not to mention her Great Aunts and Uncles and a stable full of cousins. What do I have to worry about?...On second thought...I'm petrified (just kidding)